So, This Guy at the Apple Store San Francisco is a Jerk

So, Annika’s iBook G3 gave up the ghost last week, and she decided it was time to buy a new white MacBook to replace it this weekend. Though I could’ve saved her a bit of money by ordering online from ExperCom, she wanted instant gratification, and so we headed to the downtown Apple store.

As usual for a Saturday afternoon, the place was absolutely jammed, and that afternoon Cut Chemist was performing a set upstairs, so it was extra noisy. But, how long could this possibly take? I mean, we knew what we wanted and we were ready to buy. I called over one of the red-shirted sales gang with their spiffy wireless POS terminals:

Me: Hey, I think we’re ready to make a purchase.
Guy: Okay! What can we get you.
Me: We’d like a 1.83GHz white MacBook with the combo drive. Low end model.
Guy: Are you going to get AppleCare with that?
Me: No.
Guy: Because I get AppleCare on all of my Macs. I’m not on commision, this isn’t a hard sell.
Me: I think we’ll skip it.
Guy: You really shouldn’t skip it. It’s $249 if you buy it now, but if something goes wrong, Apple will fix it for free.
Me: No, I think we’ll skip it.
Guy: These are first generation machines, there might be some problems down the road. You should really get AppleCare.
Me: No!

Interlude: Hey asshole, this MacBook is at least the sixth or seventh Mac I’ve owned. I know the fucking deal with how the company warranty works. You think I don’t know what’s up? I’ve been a Cocoa engineer since before it was called Cocoa. Oh really? First generation machines you say? WELL MAYBE I SHOULDN’T BUY THE DAMN THING AT ALL, if you’re so convinced they’re gonna break in three years.

So, Annika is buying this machine — not me. She gets a student discount (which, to his credit, this guy told us about — we wouldn’t have known to ask for it), so while he’s taking down her educational discount credentials behind the sales counter, and I’m off to the side playing with a crazy quad-core box with a 30″ display:

Guy: You should get the AppleCare. What are you going to do if this breaks? It could cost anywhere from $500-$1200.
Annika: Dave will fix it. He really knows his Macs. [Eds.: She’s a keeper!]
Guy: You mean he’s going to get all the parts and do the service?
Annika: Dave, can you come over here?

Holy crap, guy. This is way, way beyond the normal Best Buy/Circuit City level of extended warranty upsell (where you know, they’re not on commission either, and they don’t really care), this is borderline obsessive. In fact, it’s too bad I don’t remember this guy’s name, because, you know, he should be shitcanned.

I mean, maybe this drives sales, maybe it doesn’t — but when I walk into an Apple retail outlet knowing exactly what product I want, just ring me up, please. You wasted like fifteen minutes of all of our lives giving us this hard sell on an extended warranty! (And now I’ve wasted another fifteen blogging about it!) Remember, guy: you are not an engineer, not even a “Mac Genius”, you are the absolute lowest rung on the totem pole in Apple’s organization: the sales floor staff. Don’t think for a second that you’re irreplaceable. And: I am a little insane. I may well come back and visit your store sometime this week, get your name (I already know what you look like), and complain to your supervisor, and also update this blog entry with it.

Great product, though, that white MacBook. The damn things sell themselves, really, the sales floor staff are pretty useless, IMHO. But you wanna know the kicker? You wanna know what he asked before finally ringing us up?

Guy: Would you like to renew your .Mac subscription today?


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